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“All I need is good lovin’.” The Rascals
Magazines frequently ask me to write articles about health and conferences invite me to talk about healing and though I thoroughly enjoy what I do: Can we please talk about something else besides health? Can we talk about something else, like poetry or love? We are more than a bit obsessed with health and it does not improve the quality of it the more we talk about it. It only works if you actually do something about it -- you know, the basics: Eat a good balanced diet with lots of fresh organic fruits and vegetables, drink lots of clean water, moderate your vices, exercise as best you can, connect with family and friends, and the rest you know from memory by now. But a better prescription for health might be some profoundly good loving.
As to the vices, moderation is probably a better response than prohibition. If you enjoy one or two cigarettes a week and aren’t smoking around children, you will probably do fine. Is it better not to smoke at all? Absolutely. Stress? A little might get you motivated, a lot will only make you neurotic. Pharmaceuticals? Use, judiciously. Chocolate? Ah, the original Vitamin C! Let a small bit of dark Belgian chocolate slowly melt on your tongue till you feel a rapturous and sensuous glow that gives your eyes that extra special twinkle. A glass of red wine is supposed to do wonders for your arteries, though it usually puts me to sleep. One friend from Ireland tells me Guinness stout is a prescription item for pregnant mothers. Maybe he was pulling my leg, but it is loaded with lots of vitamin B and hops, so there might be some truth and a wee dram in pregnancy might not be so bad. Fetal Alcohol Syndrome? Sure, if you’re swilling gin like a young sailor on a Saturday night and drinking sterno for a night cap it’s an issue.
It is not what we do, it is how we do it and how often. We are a culture of excess -- either excessively prudent or excessively excessive. If there was a new national motto it would be, “Anything worth doing, is worth overdoing.” We are like the preacher who spends Saturday night carousing and drinking and come Sunday morning is at his righteous best. There is a unique neurosis about health, we talk about it incessantly, and yet, for most of us, we don’t do the basics and instead focus on the vices. However, the most basic and deepest level of health and well-being is the one most frequently overlooked -- to love and nurture ourselves. The quest to care for ourselves is as far and as near as the next breath in that journey to find the real passion, love, and joy in our lives.
We are a culture that is obsessed with sex, but starving for genuine intimacy and fellowship. We look for safety and comfort in love; however, that prevents us from truly loving. Love is paradox. On one hand it should feel completely safe, but to experience the fullness of it is to love unconditionally and genuinely connect with ourselves. Too often we seek completion and happiness from others, before we find it in ourselves. Then we become confused and angry, because the promise of love we sought in the other is not there. We are the Beloved that we are looking for.
When we begin to fall in love with ourselves we let go of the fear and false judgements. This self-love is not a narcissistic self-centered illusion, it is a kind loving that allows us to accept who we are with all of our flaws and contradictions. In the process of healing and the journey to wholeness we create the possibility that we can truly be present in our relationship to ourselves and others. Love is a conscious choice that we can make every day
In order to love and care for others we first need to ask: How do we care for ourselves? How do we nourish and feed our spirit? How do we stay fit physically? How are we present and available to genuinely love ourselves? That is the real challenge. If there are any “shoulds” in life is that we should have a deep, passionate, caring, intimate, soul shaking, life affirming loving that stirs us from the top of our souls all the way down to tip of our toes. A loving that is so joyful and life affirming it leaves a tingle and a glow from stem to stern and a smile on your lips that will make even Mona Lisa blush.
So what should you do? Go fall head over- heels in love with yourself today? Why not? Yes, and do all those healthy things like eat your veggies and fruit, get plenty of rest, drink clean water, and enjoy your vices in moderation. But remember, love well and passionately. Let love hold and embrace you. Connect deeply and well with family and friends. Make time in life for the truly important things like fun and play. Connect with your true purpose in life. Do something bold, silly, and wild, but above all just be you. Be the glorious wonderful you and have fun while you are doing it. Let the good times roll and let the loving begin.
Namaya
May 2000
Yakkity, yakkity yak. All those health promotion things are fine and important… low
fat, good fiber in the diet, etc. And they are important.
The real health issue are the ones we rarely talk about. Joy is one aspect
of this that I find is central. If you are not talking about joy and reclaiming
joy as a central focus to your life and being, you could eat the most pristine
diet and still feel like a train ran over you. Joy is not just that giddiness
and happiness, it is the deeper connection to your self, family, life, and
community.
Most of primary care medicine is because people just don’t take of themselves and they drag themselves to their health provider, “Fix me.”
(How do I fix loneliness and despair. The beauty of homeopathy is that in our discussion we allow people the chance to tell their story, with all its pathos and joy, and the remedy serves to remind people of their inherent nature. Past all the pain and difficulty that life present )
A little grass now and then, not the best thing for you, but people have survived nicely for thousands of years with it.
Smoking one or two cigarettes a day won’t kill you. If you enjoy a cigarette and aren’t smoking around children, you will probably do fine. Is it better not to smoke at all? Absolutely. Stress? A little might get you motivated, a lot will only make you neurotic. Pharmaceuticals? Use, judiciously. A glass of red wine is supposed to do wonders for your arteries, though it usually puts me to sleep. One friend from Ireland tells me Guinness stout is a prescription item for pregnant mothers. Maybe he was pulling my leg, but it is loaded with lots of vitamin B and hops, so there might be some truth and a wee dram in pregnancy might not be so bad. Fetal Alcohol Syndrome? Sure if you’re swilling gin for a night cap it’s an issue.
There are some things you should do frequently and yes, to excess: Love,
affection, play, and joy. (THE BEGINNING OF THE Second Paragraph)
Live fully and deeply as if there is no tomorrow. This endeavor for passion, love, purpose, and joy should be done till your serotonin reuptake receptors are so satisfied that there is no need for the prozacs and the wellbutrin.
.
If there are any “shoulds” is that we should have deep, passionate, caring, intimate, soul shaking, life affirming love-making that stirs us from the top of our souls all the way down to tip of our toes. A love-making that is so joyful and life affirming it leaves a tingle and a glow from stem to stern and a smile on your lips that will make even Mona Lisa blush.
There is some love-making that is a great passionate causal roll in the hay
and there is a time and place for it, but the real challenge is intimacy.
Bio: Dr. T.Namaya FNP, CCH, D.Sci. Is a classical homeopath and writer in Brattleboro, Vt.
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